The idea of failure terrifies me.
These days I feel like I am failing in so many areas of my life.
I want to control failure. I want to defeat it so that it will never stare me in the face again.
I am running full speed ahead towards all perfection,
running into glass walls along the way,
falling down,
turning corners hoping for a clear path ahead,
hitting other elusive walls,
breaking bones,
crouching in the fetal position,
crying harsh and angry tears,
taking time to nurse my wounds,
getting up on my feet again,
walking in an attempt to be patient,
becoming impatient and running again,
hitting a glass wall,
falling down,
all just to end up pissed off at myself
for never
learning
to
be
patient.
"Seriously, Sarah, just STOP. Listen to yourself."
He reminds me lovingly,
"You are so shortsighted!"
Again He smiles knowingly, and offers His hand
while I turn up my nose
convinced
I can do it all on my own.